Part 2 of 5: How To Become The Hunted, Instead of The Hunter...
As a shy, introverted young man in my early 20’s, I was faced with a significant dilemma…
There was nothing more that I wanted in the world than to own my own business, and yet there was nothing that I wanted to do less, than sell a product or service.
Unfortunately, cash flow is the lifeblood of any business and cash flow comes from selling.
I would have to find a solution, or relegate myself to a life of corporate mediocrity… (And there was no way in hell that was going to happen).
Necessity is the mother of all invention, and as I pondered my predicament, something occurred to me…
The most successful entrepreneurs I knew… The guys and girls that I looked up to, studied, and wanted to learn from… Didn’t have to chase after a sale.
They weren’t picking up the phone and cold-calling prospects.
They weren’t collecting business cards, or “hustling” for a sale…
Their customers were pursuing them.
They were the one’s speaking from stage and taking pictures with the audience afterward.
They were the one’s being interviewed on podcasts, or on the cover of industry magazines.
If anything, they were having to turn away potential clients and customers because they were so busy.
And that led me to ask a question that would change my life forever…
“How can I become the hunted, instead of the hunter?”
How can I get customers to call me, instead of the other way around?
Soon enough, I’d found my answer, and from a very unexpected source…
The dating world.
One of my mentor’s Eben had spent the past 10 years studying human relationship dynamics, and the root causes of “attraction” between people.
And what we both discovered, is that the exact same social dynamics that creates a romantic attraction between two people, can create a social attraction between you and your potential business prospects.
Have you ever asked yourself…
What makes a person attractive to others?
Why do groupies flock irrationally to celebrities and rock stars?
Why do people become “famous”?
Why do some women find certain men completely irresistible even if they’re dead, broke, and usually jerks?
Why can you throw 10 complete strangers in a group together and, within minutes, a leader will emerge that the others will follow?
And, most of all, how do you tap into this phenomenon and become pursued yourself?
Well the answer lies in basic human psychology, so that’s where we need to start.
What I’m about to share with you is at the core of human-to-human attraction.
The first thing you need to understand is that attraction is not a choice.
It’s a biological/instinctual trigger that evolved millions of years ago to help keep you alive, which is usually why it’s never consciously understood or perceived by people until they actually start to study it.
Here’s a very basic historical illustration…
By nature, people thrive and live in social groups. We cannot survive on our own, so we formed tribes and families.
Members of that group follow a leader until they gain enough experience and confidence to challenge for leadership themselves or start their own group.
This is a survival instinct that has been ingrained in us.
The leader (usually referred to as the Alpha) is typically the strongest and most dominant individual in the group or family, both physically and mentally. One of his primary responsibilities is to protect his group, and, in return for that protection, they follow him.
That instinct is still present today, but the inherent value of a leader is now expressed through different abilities such as business savvy, sociability, monetary means, and education.
Essentially, we are hardwired to find other people attractive or unattractive based on the level of value they have to offer, because we gain a portion of their power/value through association.
Think of a celebrity and his or her entourage.
The people in their group gain social status through their association with him or her, making them more attractive to others. They become “cooler” and more attractive to other people outside the group who want in.
There are two important lessons here:
1. People have a subconscious attraction to others who convey leadership qualities and have a high level of personal value.
2. If you want to make it to the top of your industry, you must become a leader with value to offer others, and proactively convey those qualities in your marketing efforts.
So where you YOU currently stand?
Do you have real confidence? Are you an Alpha leader in your industry?
Here’s a simple, but very effective test you can take immediately to find out…
Next time you’re out in public and you make eye contact with an attractive person of the opposite sex, notice when you break eye contact with them.
Did you look down and away first, or did they?
If you looked away first, you likely have a Beta or Pre-Alpha state of mind. If you held the gaze until they looked away, you’re probably an Alpha.
Then, ask yourself if you’re worried about what that person thought of you. Did you wonder what they were thinking? Were you concerned about being judged? If so, then you’re in a Beta or Pre-Alpha mindset.
Well, here’s the interesting part: The category you’re in, (Alpha, Pre-Alpha, or Beta), is determined not by money, experience, the job you have, or anything else for that matter.
It’s solely determined by your state of mind, which is not given or bestowed upon you by others.
Rather, your current category reflects your personal beliefs about yourself.
You, and only you, decide which of these three categories you are in, and you can choose to change categories anytime you want… IF you have the courage to do so.
Society will either agree with you and comply, or will chastise you for being a “poser,” depending upon whether or not your actions are congruent with your beliefs.
This is called your, “frame” or state of mind.
You cannot fake belief. You cannot pretend or act.
You truly believe you are, or that you are not.
You will likely feel like a “poser” when you start to adopt and accept a new belief system about yourself. You will likely get “caught” by an Alpha prospect who can sense that you’re not being genuine yet. But that’s the key word . . . yet.
That’s what people talk about when they mention “fake it until you make it.”
Faking it does not mean lying; it simply means that you’re going to struggle a bit as you go through the process of moving from a follower to an up-and-coming leader, and eventually to a recognized leader.
Challenging your current views about yourself and acting like a different person is a scary, yet wonderfully rewarding activity.
So how do you become the hunted instead of the hunter?
If you have genuine value to offer others, they will seek you out.
In order to become more valuable, you must acquire useful knowledge and skills that few others have, and demonstrate the results you can produce with your skillset.
Results create confidence, and confidence creates attraction.
And when people come to you… When they seek you out, selling becomes effortless, and incredibly enjoyable.
As for my story…
I taught myself new skills in the form of copywriting and Google Adwords, and I started producing results.
Soon enough, others in my industry were asking me for advice. I had become valuable.
I stopped trying to push my products or services onto others, and I started providing that value to them for free by sharing my knowledge online, which put me in a public position of leadership.
And once I was in a position of leadership, I became the hunted, and people started buying my products.
Attraction is a fascinating thing, and an absolute super power once you create it.
Stay tuned... Tomorrow I'll teach you how to tons of traffic, and generate endless new leads, subscribers, and followers for free.